F.O.G.

I am so far behind in my blogging that I literally don't know where to start.

Should I start with Black Friday and the Favor I found that day? (It was the day AFTER Thanksgiving for crying out loud?)

But I had purposed and planned, (you saw it here) and was set. The only variable was, apparently, NOT SLEEPING IN! As in the plan FAILS if you don't get up at 3am!

I don't even remember the alarm going off. But at #*am my husband said
"Weren't you going shopping?"
O my gosh.
Yes.
I was.
And in that moment, the realization hit. I had failed. And there was no way to fix it.
I couldn't go back and start over. I imagined hundreds of people rushing into the stores and picking up my items.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

So I hopped up and checked online. Maybe Wal-Mart would still have some items online. It may cost me shipping, but it would be penance for sleeping in. It wasn't perfect, but it was a plan. I zoomed through the website, (because I already had my list and had checked on everything while I was up until late) throwing things in the shopping cart. Yes, most things were there.... (namely the $29 bike!)

and then it happened....

"we're sorry, but our website is currently down for scheduled, routine maintenance"
I knew this was a lie. The big discount Mecca is too smart to schedule maintenance during the frenzied hours of Black Friday. But they may be too cheap to upgrade their "stuff" (I don't know what it's called, and I'm not going to pretend I do) to accommodate the extra shoppers on that morning.
So I backed out, and tried again. And again.

Then a friend calls. "Where are you? Wondered if you could get me something?" hmmm.....
Nope. I'm at home. Would be nice if you'd offer......?

So, with the server crashed at Wal-Mart...where most of my important items were. I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. Where I got another call. (Why didn't these people call at 5am and wake me up?) Nope. I'm not out. Yeah, I know, I always am, and I asked you to go with me, but you couldn't. So at least I didn't mess up your day, too, with my sleeping in.

I wondered if it would even be worth the effort to go. It was after 6am at this point. The limited number of doorbusters would surely be gone. And I knew it. Usually an optimist, I was scraping the depths of despair...I really screwed up.

On the way out the drive, I wondered, Which store to go to, since my chances were slim anywhere. So I picked one, and went. As I was driving down the road I had a little conversation with the Lord. Pretty much it went like this. Ok, I've screwed up. I blew it. There's no way for me to fix it, and so therefore I am totally without hope-- but it's your money, and they are your children, and I am really putting all my chips into the center of the table. I'm looking for, expecting, and determined to find FAVOR. Undeserved Favor of God.
By the time I got there, I was shouting....
and I noticed that there weren't a TON of cars in the parking lot. (maybe they went home because there wasn't any good deals left-stop it!) So I wiped my face, and walked in.

OK, so I was expecting favor, and I had prioritized my list. The bike. I walked around the store. But no bike. I started around again, finding the pj's for the two little ones...but no bike. So the thing to do would be to ask, right? Hmmmm. See, I knew I had favor, but no one else did.
So I was terribly intimidated by the employees of the store. I kept imagining their reply, "Oh, no, they were gone in, like, 10 minutes!" or, "Nothing, there's nothing left, it was all outta here in the first 30 minutes..." Then they'd get on their little walkie-talkie, and ask someone else, "yeah, I know, they are all gone, but I got this lady here..." I mean who comes in an hour late and asks about the doorbusters?

me, apparently.

So I'm wondering. I know that I'm believing that there will be favor. But I am happy to keep that to myself right now. I don't think I need to bring anyone else into it. Right?
I don't need to test it. I'll just keep looking. It will be my little secret, me and God.
Nope.
I look at each employee I pass, and yes, they are out in force today...so I see many...of course no one makes it Easy and says "can I help you?" No, this is my walk of faith, and I've got to do it.
I finally get the nerve, I go near where the bikes are (although I KNOW that they never put the doorbusters near where the item would be that just isn't done. ) But I want to "look good".
So I find my person..and I ask. And then I watch while she looks on the rack of bikes. I bite my tongue. I wait. She asks, and I show her my sales paper...
we both look, she calls someone on her radio...
another associate comes up...we all look...

and find-THE BIKE!
Not only is there a bike, but I have two very nice people load it up on the cart for me!

I am gushing thanks. My heart is pounding, I've got the $29 bike!!
Then, one asks, "what else are you looking for, honey?"
You see, these two ladies had the stinky job of canvassing the store and picking up the discarded items left from the wild frenzy of people the first hour. And to put them back on the display. Well, I'm saying....ok, here's my list...but this is an MP3 player, and I'm sure you don't have any....oh! you do? Which color, I don't know...whatever one you have....you've got two colors?...wow...tears start to come to my eyes...I CAN'T CRY IN WALMART LORD! I thank them, I bless them, I get directions to the blue jeans.


I found favor.

What more could I want?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Good Grief?

I was just driving down the road the other day, minding my own business. Actually I was hitting the After Christmas Sales. Still, minding my own business, listening to Christmas Songs on the Radio...when it hit me. Grief. I don't remember what sparked it, whether it was the words to the song, or what, but I can remember exactly where I was on the road, when it overtook me.



Loss.


And I had a little conversation with the Lord. That went something like this.
OK, Lord, so I've seen you provide a new wife for my friend, but where's my compensation? (selfish, I know..but I'm being honest, here) I have always wondered loosely, when I read in the Bible that someone lost their family and God gave them a new one, and life was altogether better.

Huh?

How is that possible, I've always thought...you could take my husband and all my children away and give me new ones, but the replacements wouldn't be the same. That is just the way people are. Irreplaceable. So what does God mean? How did Job do it?

And then......a week later......I'm sitting and listening to a new friend share her heart, and I realize................

that's the one.

I don't "get" it all. But I've seen too much-- I know God is good. I just don't always see it right away.

.....If you haven't read it yet.........

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A little Christmas memory.....

And we were just talking at the lunch table about bedtimes. I was explaining that some families have early bedtimes for their children because it gives the parents time at night to visit with each other more. Our choice has been to allow our children later bedtimes (I realize this is more feasible because we home educate!) so that they have more time to spend with Daddy after work, especially since he doesn't come home at the same time every day. THIS little sprite said..

"I don't know WHY they (the parents) want to see more of each other, I mean, you sleep in the SAME ROOM!"
Point taken. Who can argue with wisdom like that?
Happy New Year